Each student was instructed to jot down one of the following: a proper noun, a verb in the infinitive form, and a place. Once they had their lists, they were told to collaboratively write a love story using all of the words they had collectively generated in their lists. Once they wrote a love story, they were then instructed to write a tragedy. The purpose of the exercise was to encourage them to feel a little freer, sillier, and less discouraged when confronted with either the beginning of a creative writing assignment or writer’s block.
Harriet is from Alaska and she is visiting the Columbia Gorge on spring break where she meets Queen Elizabeth, who as it turns out is not from Britain, but actually from New Mexico. Gasp. They jump off a cliff and find a bed to share afterward. Unbeknownst to either of them, a prince comes in the night to harvest their hair because Harriet has beautiful hair that is chestnut colored with honey glints that sparkle in the sun. The prince then travels on to Washington D.C. to sell Harriet’s hair to President Trump, who is in desperate need for a new toupee.
President Trump, enamored by his new chestnut tressed toupee, struggles to answer the question that everyone is asking him, which is: WHY IS YOUR TOUPEE CHESTNUT COLORED?
Harriet wakes up with a gasp and realizes that it was all a dream … but she turns on the TV and is shocked to see that Trump still somehow has her hair! She reaches up to feel her skull to find that her hair is ALL GONE. all that’s left is short stubble.
This was the true birth of Uncle Fester… who is secretly the bald Princess Diana. This is not a conspiracy theory.
Alternate Ending →
Harriet, having jumped off of the Columbia Gorge, is FOUND DEAD. She’s committed suicide because the people discovered somehow that the Queen Elizabeth was from New Mexico, instead of from Great Britain.